1.    Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.

2.   Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.

3.    Noah built an ark which the animals come on to in pears.

4.    Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day but a ball of fire by night.

5.    The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals.

6.   Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles.

7.   The Egyptians were drowned in the dessert.

8.   Afterwards Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the 10 amendments.

9.   The first amendment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
The 7th amendment is thou shalt not admit adultery.

10.  Moses died before he reached Canada.

11.  The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.

12.  David was a Hebrew King skilled at playing the liar.    He fought the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in biblical times.   Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

13.   When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus she sang the Magna Carta.   When the 3 wise guys from the east side arrived, they found Jesus in the manager.
 
14.  St. John the blacksmith dumped water on his head.

15.  Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule which says to 'do unto  others before they do one to you'.
He also explained 'a man doth not live by sweat alone.'

16.  It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.

17.  The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels.

18   The epistles were the wives of the apostles.

19.  St. Paul cavorted to Christianity.  He preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.   A Christian should have only 1 spouse.   This is called monotony.